Gift Ideas You Won't Find At The Knot.com

So we've reviewed and inventoried the high amount of stuff we have, (we're basically two pack rats combining our collections of treasures together) in order to make our registry completely successful. We've found that we have a lifetime supply of mugs, wine glasses, general glasses, plates, and all that other stuff that normal couples register for. However, those of you who truly know us, know that we're not a "normal" couple. So we came up with two lists of things we have found appealing. Although this is not an official registry, and that it's a faux pas to announce what crap you want (this according to The Anti-Bride Guide To Ettiquette), we thought we'd share a little insight into finding that oh-so-perfect gift for your favorite engaged couple. (That's us, btw.)

Real stuff we need/want:
1) A crock pot. We don't have one, and although not essential at this point, we may find that our lives up until this point were miserable voids of dispair, only to improve once we got a crock pot. So bring it on.

2) Blender. We have to borrow my mom's whenever we make marguaritas. Buying us one will save us the shame of my parents' knowing that we're going to get liquored up. Thank you.

3) Digital camera. Seriously, like three or four of you can go in on this one. Ten of you, twenty of you, we don't care. We just hate schlepping to Target to wait an hour for Fabulous photos of Feefer and Pepper Keenan. Please help us.

4) Artwork by our friends. Seriously, we have a lot of talented people. If you fall into that catagory where you are skilled with a brush, camera, yarn, macrame, what have you...don't spend mon-nay, just make us something. It'd be an honor to have something of yours in our house.

5) Donations to a specific charity. We're currently in the process of deciding which one we want to have our wedding guests donate to. We're serious about this one, though, and once we choose, it will be announced.

6) Bottles of wine from different wineries around the globe. These don't have to be hoity-toity either. Some of our favorite stuff we find for a few bucks at Kroger.

7) Guitar lessons.

And now, the fun part. Yes, admit it, you've indulged us by reading this far. Just like the whole Joan and Melissa Rivers show, you sit through the crap because you wanna hear them diss the Worst Dressed. So here is what we want if time, money, legal issues, interplanatary status, and just plain decorum were not issues. Away we go:

1) A DVD Recorder. John actually had this on our original list, but we removed it because, a) it just seemed a bit too greedy, and b)considering how technilogically impared our families are, we may end up with a DVD recorder that is inferior to the BETAMAX. So, we'll get this one ourselves. Thanks anyway!

2) Zakk Wylde's original Bulls-eye Les Paul guitar, the one that was lost on tour when it fell off the truck. Luckly for Zakk, it ended up in a pawn shop where a kindly pawn shop patron returned it after buying it, upon finding Zakk's initials engraved on the bridge. We know it's a longshot, but...if you're ever in a pawn shop and you see a nice guitar with a bulls-eye pattern on it, snatch it up for us.
(We promise to return it to Zakk, and we'll mention your name to him as he invites us to party with him...thanks!)

3) An Ooompa Loompa. Seriously, he would be so handy around the house, and he could live in the guest room, and take Fee for walks. Bonus points if he's bronzed.

4) A pony (this is FiFi's request- we aren't sure why.) Please call him Gary.

Well, we look forward to your responses and for the meantime, we're gonna sit back, relax, and let the packages come a-flyin' in!!!!